11 weeks

London is now 11 weeks, it doesn't sound like a long time but it's been a journey. Sometimes i sit and think about the days i was pregnant with her, then the day i went to labor. It's all like a dream. I asked myself why i didn't open my eyes to look at her when they pulled her out of me? I guess the pain was too brutal and i just couldn't do it. She laid on me for the longest time and cried. But i still didn't open my eyes to look at her. I haven't spent much time analyzing this but i hope it doesn't make me a bad mother.

I'm still nursing her whenever i can but it hasn't been easy. I have to give her formula as well. I hope she turns out just as good as any breastfed babies. I had hope to do this for at least 3 months but im happy if i can do longer. With the office move to Bethesda, i dont know how i'll do this.

Speaking of work, i came back to work last week and it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. I miss London throughout the day but i go home for lunch to see her so it hasn't been bad. The real test is when i move to Bethesda, that means i wont see her for the whole day.

London is likely to sleep thru the night now. Once in a while she would wake up at 3am but most nights, we put her to bed at midnight and she would sleep til 5am. She smiles a lot these days when she sees our faces. I supposed she recognizes our faces and voices.